This write-up is a follow up to a discussion among a COP of coaches, on a subject “Changing Goals during Coaching”

After the usual ceremony, courtesy and rapport building, a coaching session is in progress …

The following is a coaching conversation between the coach and the coachee …

Coachee : “I am feeling down and unhappy. I want to be happy. This is also my objective in this coaching session.”

Coach : “I am sure we both can work out something so that you can feel happier. What are you not feeling happy about?”

Coachee ; “I don’t know whether it is my mid-life crisis. You see, I am not happy about my current job. My management is terrible. My colleagues are not co-operative. My family is busy with their own things. I am feeling rather lonely suddenly.”

Coach : “Are you feeling unhappy, or lonely or both?”

Coachee : “I suppose I am feeling lonely. Maybe my objective of this coaching session is to get out of my loneliness.”

(Note: a change in the goal or objective or agenda of the coaching session).

Coach : “Tell me, what is your own assessment on the degree of your loneliness, in a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being extremely lonely.”

Coachee : “I would say it is at a scale of 8. I remember in the past, when I felt that lonely, I got myself to read story books and novels. I felt ok then. I don’t have interest in reading now. Maybe I should take up a new hobby. Maybe you can help me to explore a new hobby in this coaching session.”

(Note: another change in the goal or objective or agenda of the coaching session).

Coach : “Sure, as your coach, I am here to listen to you and follow your agenda. Tell me, what are your current thinking so far on hobbies that suit you?”

Coachee : “Well, there are several things I have in mind. I have never been interested in sports and exercises, now maybe I should try, good for my health. Say, golf, tai-chi etc. I have been thinking taking up foreign languages, then I can travel places and appreciate the cultures in different countries. Maybe I should take up serious study on investment, so that I can build up some wealth for my retirement. …..”

Coach : “All the ideas you have sound interesting and compelling. Tell me, in your past experiences, what hobby or undertaking you took up that shows clearly your determination and commitment?”

Coachee : “Your question is really like a hammer hitting on me hard. I must say that I have never demonstrated any determination, passion, commitment in any of my undertaking. I have been merely floating in my life, up with the high tide, down with the low tide. Maybe, as a coach you can help me to install passion and commitment in my life, I would like that to be our coaching objective. Don’t get me wrong, I feel good that you listen to me. You have been patient with me in my goals shifting. I am really glad we come this far. I appreciate every small step of this journey”

(Note: 3rd change in the goal or objective or agenda of the coaching session).

The original goal “to be happy” is shifted to “to get out of loneliness” to “finding a new hobby” to “installation of passion in life”. A pattern is established and likely as coaching continues, the coachee may come up with another suggestion of coaching objective.

Questions

1. What are the implications of the above?
2. What actually is happening?
3. What should be the coach’s overall strategy?

End.

By Andrew Wong