It is a wonderful 10-day trip to New Zealand for me and my family –
Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. We met many old friends there
New Zealand is a beautiful country – nature, scenic places, people,
culture, system of life : economic, business, education, politics etc.
There are many more qualified description and documentation on this
topic, and for that I can excuse myself not to describe further, but to
share some reflections.
I contacted one New Zealander Energy Psychology coach and had the
following discussion: (Note: I am surprised to know so many EP
practitioners in New Zealand)
“I am curious on how Energy Psychology is received in New Zealand,
having observations made that NZ being a beautiful and peaceful country,
people should generally be happy and healthy...”
And the reply was ..
“NZ people are just as emotionally challenged as other countries,
despite perhaps having a good standard of living. Many people notice
what they don’t have rather than being grateful for what they do have.
There is plenty of work for an EP practitioner. It's just getting people
educated to treat their unresolved emotional issues when they are not
used to doing that."
When sharing the above with another EP practitioner in Singapore, she
“Singapore is a safe and peaceful country, yet people are highly
Many people in less developed countries look towards countries with
higher standard of living, resulting in good number of people migrating.
It is natural people aspire higher standard and many strive and work
hard towards such a goal.
I also observe a mix of different behaviors and attitudes, regarding
better place elsewhere, and hence the article title; “When New Zealand
is beautiful, what can be not so beautiful?”. New Zealand is just
symbolic of another thing, place or country which is perceived as
I have a neighbor in Malaysia, who for many years complained a lot of
things in the country, from educational system to political, economic
etc. etc. Finally he and his family migrated to another country (not NZ
though). Every time we meet during his visit to Malaysia, it is obvious
that 100% of his conversation is all praises of the good things he
enjoys in the new country and upon comparison, more complaints about his
original country. He tries hard to persuade his friends to migrate too.
He has found his paradise.
Last year, after my Bhutan trip, a beautiful country with happy people,
I begin to appreciate beauties in Malaysia. And I also get more
motivated to learn to transform less happiness or satisfaction in people
and organization in where I stay to somewhat a happier and more
Maybe my old neighbor, like the NZ EP coach, can one day realize there
is no place that is an utopia. Whatever place it maybe, there are always
He may not realize his excessive complaints of his original country may
indicate his own inner lacking or dissatisfaction, not able to
experience some inner peace and thereby disrupts the energy or Qi in
Envy and Complaint
Thing, place, people perceived as good, beautiful,
in comparison with current reality experienced negatively can often lead
to envy and complaints.
Complaints can be a powerful initial trigger
towards better change and transformation. But the problem with
complaints is, often, vicious circle gets created, generating more
frustration, dissatisfaction and unhappiness, thereby draining off more
vital energy for well being.
Different people try to cope with the negatives
generated in different way, but seldom squarely face and accept the
negatives. This may result in self-denial or escapism. Again the Qi or
Energy can get disrupted.
Complaint syndrome is prevalent, unfortunately not
leading towards positive actions or desired change.
To a larger scale, complaint syndrome has become a
culture in itself, permeating to all levels of the society, whether
advanced or developing countries. Complaints usually come with envy of
things not happening or not available, consciously or unconsciously.
There can be many examples ….
Students educated in advanced countries, have a
lot of complaints when they come home after graduation. It is
natural as they experienced a higher standard of living, with more
quality of life in many aspects. Complaints can be lower salary back
home, poor transportation system, unfair treatment from employer,
corruptions in the country with little transparency. They feel
powerless to make changes, and draining off more energy in
complaints. (This sets one to wonder the purpose of education, or
has the “good education” received missed out the important element
of Self-Empowerment to make changes?)
In the corporate world, there are endless
complaints from staff about the management’s business strategies,
human resource policy etc., and equally large number of complaints
from management about staff poor attitudes or lack of initiatives.
(Though many training programs delivered, consultancy services
engaged, sustainable positive change is hardly seen)
Citizen complaints about their in-efficient, and /
or corrupted government, perhaps thinking that the more complaints
they raise the government will change by itself for the better to
their expectation. (Again no concrete and positive follow up action
strategized and taken, individually and collectively to make change
People with heath problems, making complaint like
life is not fair to them, blaming external factors and cannot come
to term with their pain and suffering with acceptance, thereby
creating more stress.
In many countries, we see a certain race feels
threatened by other races in the country, externalized their fear,
focus their attention and energy to fight the perceived enemies in
other races, who they claim rob off their livelihood etc. It may
start with complaints, then escalate into hatred and violence. A
good case in point is the German during Hitler’s era, perceived Jews
as their threats, resulting in killing of millions in the
concentration camp. (The people concerned, the policy makers, the
government are not aware to seek power within self to create the
positive change they desire)
The general theme or mindset of the above example
is : whatever one experiences as negative (individually, collectively or
organizationally), not fulfilling one’s expectation, the conclusion is
that there are external causes, the enemies are out there that block our
happiness, security etc
With the above theme, we can have many different
examples of facets of human life – lacking something, dissatisfaction,
frustration, and yet feeling powerless and unworthy to take any positive
action to initiate change.
The title “When New Zealand is beautiful, what can
be not so beautiful?” is then a discussion of human nature – both
beautiful and not so beautiful..
Energy Psychology Coaching
One of the approaches used in EP coaching is :
Accept What Cannot be Changed
Change what Cannot be Accepted
There is no fixed formula for everyone on what can
be accepted, what cannot; what can be changed and what cannot. Different
individual and corporation have different threshold limits.
We help the client (coachee) to distinguish what is
to be accepted and what change is needed, In doing so, we further create
clarity on accept / change with respect to external world and internal
External world, or perceived reality is often a
projection of the individual’s inner world. When the inner world is
calm, so is the external, when the inner world is not so beautiful, the
external world appears to be so.
Eckhart Tolle, the author of “The Power of Now”
coined a useful and effective term called “Pain Body” , the internal and
inherent pain and suffering in oneself, with negative emotions,
psychology and beliefs.
This Pain Body blocks our Qi or Energy flow, making
us less free to go with the flow of life.
EP coaching helps client (individual or corporate)
to identify the Pain Body, with acknowledgement and acceptance. When the
client takes the courage to face the internal negatives, truth will be
set free and new solutions are found for positive action, individually
Response from Readers ...
> A good trip and very encouraging, good article and
powerful positive message. You are right, we should have less complaint
and stay positive at all time.
My reply ....
Thank you for your encouraging comments.
>we should have less complaint and stay positive at all time.
Yes, that is the aim.
At the same time, we need to recognize that manifestation of negatives,
be it complaints, negative feelings or emotions are NOT conscious act by
the person concerned. And often it is very challenging to have less
complaints and stay positive at all time.
Let me give a few examples how staying positive can be a daunting task :
- A cancer patient complaints of pain (which is
unbearable), and more negative emotions arise e.g. worry about
death, anxiety about surviving family, missions un-accomplished etc.
- A businessman losses every penny, goes bankrupt,
creditors chase after him, threatens his family lives.
- A lady, sexually abused or raped, developed phobia
towards any man approaching her.
- An employee about to be sacked by the management.
- An CEO facing legal action due to the fire in his
manufacturing facilities that kill several people.
In using Energy Psychology, we do not use Will Power as
that add more pressure and stress to the suffering parties. We help
claim (like above) to witness, face and transmute the negatives to
Another reader's remark ...
> I think it is indeed easier said than done about staying positive
Interestingly Energy Psychology procedure makes it fairly simple, once
the principles are understood.
Hope you and your network have a chance to learn more about Energy