“Don’t think Negative” – a good strategy?

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)

SF (Solution Focus)

EP (Energy  Psychology)

“Don’t think Negative” is generally adopted as a good principle to be applied to everyday life. The implication is that “we should always think positive” so that we can attract positive outcome in life.

Unfortunately when such statement is used in a generalized manner, it may create problems rather than intended solution.

The following maybe an extreme case, however, we shall derive some useful learning later.

In the middle of a first Energy Psychology coaching session, the coach asked : "What will you be thinking tonight before you sleep? What had you been thinking and feeling the last few nights?"

Response:

"I stop my mind thinking too many things. I just blank my mind. I feel safer that way. It is no good to keep thinking things that cannot get resolved."

This is a case of a young man who stops working for a year, he feels disturbed and he is depressed. His vision gets blurred though his eye specialist confirms no physical problem to the eyes. He is paranoid of anything and everything.

Obviously in this case “Don’t think negative” is a strategy he adopts currently in order to protect himself from, maybe a difficult situation or traumatized experience. As an on-looker we know that such strategy will not serve him well in the long run.

This young man is putting up a lot of effort to “Not think negative” and his energy – Qi is draining off fast or blocked. He continues to get depressed, isolated and developes more pain and suffering to his body.

Lets’ discuss another case, on the opposite.

In the corporate world, it is not uncommon for organization members to deal in negatives.

Just observe the typical behavior, little expression of ideas or opinions during management meeting, but active and lot of complaints, frustration at the corridors after the meeting by staff. There are endless negatives to talk about – out of date HR policy, poor strategic planning, lack of promotion or job satisfaction opportunities, in-effective leadership etc. etc.

In such an organization, energy Qi is draining off collectively also, creating no more room for creative action and better business performance.

Individual staff gets more stressed from such activity in dealing with negatives, often un-ware of the negative consequences to their health.

Then knee jerk reaction to the above is “Let’s do positive thinking”.

Organizations then spend a lot of investment on Positive Thinking training program.

What happens?

After several years of such training investment, behaviors don’t seem to get changed for the better.

But “Positive Thinking” training program or strategy can create a lot of side effect, or draining of energy Qi, especially when will power is used.

Take another case:

A cancer patient just received a medical report that he may have 6 more months to live. He is devastated and depressed, He worries about his wife, young children, their future, finance problem, …

Friends with good intention comfort him. “Maybe the report is not true. You must have positive thinking. You must be strong.”

Observe carefully, when hearing such words the cancer patient’s eyes lowered, shoulders sunk, part of his body tensed up, … he is gripped with more fears and anxiety, and his energy and Qi is draining off fast.

When energy Qi drains off or get blocked, the person concerned gets more stuck in the negatives. The original problems or symptoms get manifested more.

I handled a few problem-children due to parents with high expectations and imposition of 'positive thinking' and 'will-power" that break their threshold limits.

In Energy Psychology coaching, we do not advocate “Thinking positive” or “Don’t think Negatives”. as these are just strategies that need to be used appropriately in different contexts.

Neither do we use “Will Power” which often is counter-productive.

We go with the flow of the clients – helping them to get in touch with the negatives (fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, limiting beliefs etc.)which they are experiencing at the moment. We calm the mind of the clients by activating the energy qi to flow more smoothly.

Then we help the clients to tap into their hidden potentials, past resourcefulness and expand their sensory faculties to visualize, hear, feel, touch and taste with greater consciousness and not be narrowly focused on the perceived problems or issues.

The clients are normally coached on the simple Energy Psychology technique so that they can do self-coaching themselves in overcoming new challenges.

Please note that the next English Energy Psychology training is on May 8-9th, Sat and Sun.

The Chinese 【能量心理学】培训课程  is on June 5-6th, Sat and Sun, both at Jalan Kuchai Lama.

Share with your friends the above if you think they can benefit from it.

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Energy Psychology Training                【能量心理学】培训课程

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